One test down...

Well, what can I say right now? I have so much on my mind and in my heart that is just aching to come out but I think I need to share it another day. I'm about to jump into the Word for a bit and journal some things that  I'm feeling that might be shared one day, but, once again, not today. Soon I'll be going to bed because I am just sleepy.

Just finished my management exam. It was a test. And there will be another one before fall break. Just like I have tests in school, I have been in some tests that felt like finals, in a spiritual sense. I know they are to help show me my progression, what I need to work on, and build character. Sometimes I don't like the tests though. But they are necessary in order for me to get to not only where I want to be, but to be where God has called me to be.

Lord, 
     Help me to prepare for the spiritual tests just as I do for my educational exams. Let me not be weary in well doing but continue to hold on to You, the Author and Finisher of my faith. I choose to remember that You have already equipped me with everything I need to grow, and transition from this season to the next so let me not rush it, but do everything according to Your will and timing. I thank You Lord for blessing me with these tests because I understand that whatever I face, experience, go through is not about me but the advancement of Your kingdom. I praise You and be exalted in this earthen vessel. In Jesus's name I pray, Amen!

All I have to give

This past weekend I went home and spent much needed time with family, even though the visit was very short. I had come to some important conclusions over the past week about my relationship with Christ and I decided that it is far better for me to live a yielded life to Him than a life of compromise with the nature of the world. Sometimes this road appears lonely or that others may join me but the timing was off. However, I am not alone because the Lord is always with me and there is a remnant of those who are on this journey with me. I am understanding more clearly what this season is about, and what it is not about, in my life.

http://www.blackartdepot.com/black-religious-art2.htm

I can boldly say that I don't have all the answers and I'm not perfect. But thank God I am allowing the One who is to have free course in my life because I do not want to operate in a wrong spirit; God forbid I cause others to stumble! I recently told someone that; I just do not want to be a stumbling block for anyone. So this weekend was definitely a time of refreshing. I was able to just pour out my heart to the Lover of my soul and allowed Him to pour back in and all I can say is to God be the glory! 

I truly embrace this season with excitement! Although there will be moments that will not feel good to my flesh, I know that everything is working together for my good, I love the Lord and I am called according to His purpose. He has brought me a mighty long way and I know He will continue to do so because He wants to be glorified through me. So I choose to give Him all of me and finish my course with joy!

Lord,

I thank You for Your unfailing, unwavering love. For how You hold me together even when I feel like falling apart at the seams. Thank You for being my confidante, the One who has me in the palm of Your hand and I know I won't be plucked out because of the promises in Your Word. As I continue on this journey called life that You so graciously blessed me with, I thank You for giving me the strength to willingly submit every area of my life, including the stubborn places that tries to shout, "I got me"...submitting all of that and everything else to You. May my life bring You honor so that when it is time for me to move on from this world, I will be with You forever. To You be blessing, and honor, and glory, and power forever and ever. In Jesus' name. Amen.

It's Fab Friday Y'all!

I woke up exceptionally early this morning considering the lateness I went to bed. Yes, I know, must do better with that. Since I was up, I was tinkering with my phone; my goal was to back it up and then reset it to factory settings. For some reason ActiveSync, what I  use to back up my phone, did not want to work. So I was like whatever, I'll just restore it to the default settings without backing it up. That meant that some numbers would have been lost, all pictures and videos but I honestly did not care. I just wanted my phone acting the way it should. So when I told it to "clear all data," guess what? It asked me for a password that my phone does not have! At this point I was getting aggravated, so I shut down my computer (using that to backup my phone so I thought) and went back to sleep.

A few minutes ago I woke back up and something came to mind. Instead of putting it all the way back to its factory condition, delete the storage. I did that and now my phone is working like a charm. Moral of the story? I was focusing so much lately on what I need to change, what I need to do differently, what I must quit and must give up that I was not focusing on the Lord. All He wanted me to realize is that He's madly in love with my personality, my charisma, my style because He gave me those things. He did not (and does not) want me to be rid of the experiences, the life lessons learned, even the memories but He did (and does) want my storage to be empty. Release my way of doing things along with the baggage of the world--shame, pain, disappointments, etc.

How about THAT good news for a Fab Friday!

Lord, 


Thank You for the small things that are often overlooked that can teach invaluable lessons in my life. Help me to notice these things everyday, not just once in a while, as I continue to yield my entire self to You. I thank You for the beautiful weekend and that this day will bring You honor and glory as it brings me love, joy, and peace. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

As the Day Ends...Still Thankful :)

Today was an interesting day. Got feedback on something that threw me for a loop. Didn't quite know how to handle it at first but shortly afterwards decided I'd give it over to the Lord. Upon doing so, I felt so much better, so much lighter and relieved. My classes went well but I know I have some major studying to do this weekend and be more vocal in my classes.

http://www.blackartdepot.com/edwinlester.htm

As far as my personal life is concerned, that is taking the backseat. I have a lot to focus on right now and that is maintaining soundness spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically, intellectually...All of that isn't to make myself great or to stand out or whatever but so I can be able to pour into others effectively...based in Christ and not emotions. I don't want to live a double standard so whatever I have to sacrifice, or whoever, so be it because my life isn't about me but those who need to see that there is more to life than existence.

Relaxation. I am getting on the road in a few hours to go home and spend time with my family and close friends. I realized relaxation and chill time is just as important as being on my grind. I must keep a healthy balance because what is life if I can't enjoy it? Why would the sun shine if it was not intended for me to bask in its radiance?

Lord, help me to keep trusting You and to remain faithful to You. I know You have plans and purposes for my life so help me embrace every lesson, whether it relates to school, love, etc and learn from them. I choose to apply what I learn to my life so I can reach others for Your glory. Help me to remember that it is all about You and not about me at all. As I choose to enjoy every moment of this life You have blessed me with, let me not take anything, any person for granted but strengthen me to live out Your unconditional love always. In Your precious name I pray, Amen.

Thankful Thursday

Good morning! It's Thursday! A new day, a new moment in time to shine as I was meant to! Yesterday's worries are destroyed! Really exercising my faith, as I mentioned yesterday, the things I faced were definitely important but if I open the door to worry, then what? I lose the battle. I've already lost so much along the way and now that God is restoring, I refuse to lose! #Winning!

Today I have a lot on my plate! I have to step out and handle some business and it's going to be great, even if it feels like it won't be...

www.blackartdepot.com/wak-art.htm

My meditations for today will be coming straight from the Good News. In The Message translation, 2 Timothy 1:7 and 1 John 4:18 reads respectively, ""God doesn't want us to be shy with his gifts, but bold and loving and sensible," and, "There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life- fear of death, fear of judgment- is one not yet fully formed in love." I see where I've been operating in this state for some time until it started stifling me. I must be who I need to be for kingdom building and fear will hinder that every time, if I give it the rights. Fear, just like unconditional love, is a choice and I choose love over fear.

Father,

     As I venture forward in this beautiful day that I am thankful You have allowed me to see, let me make every moment count for Your glory. Let me be real with You, myself, and others because it's the reality of who we are and who you are transforming us into that makes the difference in our lives. Strengthen me in being a friend, someone who listens and edifies the hearts of others and don't let bias misconstrue my reason and understanding. Let my life, my conversation be a reflection of Your character, Your essence. Help me to love like You love, selfless, unconditionally, with the best interest of others over myself. In Your matchless, holy, magnificent name I pray. Amen.

Okay family! Let's make this day beautiful for others!

Reflection of My Weird Wednesday

Rolled out of bed like 10 something this morning. Totally was unexpected. I intended to be up bright and early but oh well for that...I guess I needed that extra sleep. So what else? Well I had engaged in conversation that really got me to thinking about different things. Until I just came to this conclusion... Why the heck am I wasting my time with thinking on anything else right now? I mean, I have my education, my activities, and most importantly my relationship with Christ that I gotta keep in check.

This doesn't mean that the things on my mind are unimportant. Quite the contrary. They were very important, and still are, but bottom line is that I can't allow my thought life to consume me. Mama nem  was right when they said, "You think long, you think wrong." This is something I've always known: I think entirely too much. I gotta start letting it go and just live the life I'm intended to live, no bars...

On another note, Zumba was AWESOME! I can definitely see myself as a Zumba instructor. Going to find out more information on how to do that. Found a church up here that is awesome & joined the praise & worship team...God is definitely up to something and I refuse to miss out on what He's up to.

So before I disappear for the night, thank you. Thank you for being willing to share this journey with me and I pray that as I face my fears (and post about it) that you will do the same. It is so much better to live life freely and full of joy, peace, love, etc. I love you and I'll see you tomorrow!

Weird Wednesday

What can I say? Well last night before I went to bed I thought about starting a separate journal, just a collection of events in my day to day life that I encounter, allow people to join me in this journey called life. Pretty neat idea, you think? 


Anyway, now I'm just waiting for classes to begin. I think I'm going to write in this like twice a day--once at the beginning and once before bed. Have papers to fill out for my new job, woo hoo! Some articles to read for class, a meeting to attend so yeah, this will be a full yet fulfilling day :) 


This is all for now...I'll share more (especially about the weirdness of today) tonight...until then, ciao!